Today I was going about my business as usual on this Sunday afternoon, which is in fact not restful at all. We have carpool threads and community group texts going in between laundry and meal planning. All while I'm feeling the pull of my bed wondering about the probability of an afternoon nap.
My oldest daughter has just had a friend over to work on a physics project and I have just returned from dropping off another daughter at the drop off point for carting kids down to church for youth group. A neighbor friend (best described as "freighbor") texts: "Are you home? I want to drop something off, if so." I quickly respond, "Yes, I am!" I don't think twice about this only making a passing thought that it might be a treat or some fun item she must picked up at the store.
As I answer the door, she smiles and hands me an envelope with my name on it. It looks very much like a greeting card... the size and type I am used to getting for my birthday. Except it's September, and I know that she knows my birthday is in January. We exchange quick pleasantries and off she goes as I return to the living room where Alex is sitting watching the Cowboys game. I sit on the couch and open the envelope. A cute picture graces the front containing two gray kittens sharing a dish of milk as they are bent over it lapping at the white liquid. The words read "Of all the things we share..." And inside reads "Our friendship is our favorite." Scrawled underneath is the message, "We love you and are praying for God to move BIG!" Signed with the 6 names of the women in my neighborhood Bible Study group. Included is a generous gift card to our local grocery store.
The silent tears start to fall. My daughter, sensing a disturbance in the force from the other room, comes in to see what has happened and I show her the card and gift card. She looks moved and we hug each other in a moment of receiving God's humbling grace. He truly is our Provider and does so using ordinary people who engage in showing up in tangible ways for each other. Our community isn't a place or a name or a location. But rather it's the people of God loving bigly and blessing us with immeasurable gratitude.
All I can write to the group on a text is: "Ladies, I was undone by your love, care and generosity. 😭 Thank you for your kindness and support for us. Your prayers have meant so much and now this sweet gift with perfect timing. I have no words other than thank you. 💕"
The only thing that comes to my mind are the lyrics from a Christian artist:
And He is jealous for me.
Love's like a hurricane. I am a tree,
Bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy.
When all of a sudden,
I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory.
And I realize just how beautiful You are,
And how great Your affections are for me.
And, oh, how He loves us, oh.
Oh, how He loves us.
How He loves us, oh.
…..
And we are His portion and He is our prize,
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes.
If His grace is an ocean, we're all sinking.
I've been saying it all along. He sees. He knows. He knows that our last severance check comes this week. He knows we still have not had a job offer in 14.5 years to be exact. We have been in the pattern of waiting. Waiting for God to move. Waiting for the right company to want and need the skill set Alex has to offer. Waiting to see how he will provide when the severance runs out. It's easier said than done to say these things. It's one thing to believe it in your heart, but it's altogether another thing to feel it in your everyday life. God continues to show us glimpses of himself, of his love for us, of this care for us, and I am so so thankful. I'm undone and sinking in the ocean of his lavish grace.